Newsletter—August
In our lesson from Ephesians for today, St. Paul says,
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Let’s talk for a few moments about strategic kindness. There are some people who are going to read these words from the epistle about living a life of love and they are going to think to themselves, "What mush. That’s too soft, too effeminate. Don’t you know you have to be tough to survive in the real world? Kindness and compassion are for wimps, not for real life."
Read the record and you will discover that Jesus was no wimp. Neither was St. Paul. These were men of courage. They knew how to stare both danger and death in the face. Yet they also knew that little is to be gained by escalating anger and malice into a more serious confrontation. They knew that if you live by an "eye for an eye" credo, it can only produce a downward spiral of revenge and resentment. The best way to defeat an enemy is to make them an ally. So, Jesus would teach in the Sermon on the Mount,
"You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for eye, and a tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." (Matthew 5:39-41)This is strategic kindness. It is not a justification for being a wimp. It is not a call to be soft. It is simply a recognition that violence breeds violence, whether it is physical or verbal. Hatred breeds hatred. We can turn a minor disagreement into a major conflict by the way we handle our anger.
Humanity has had to work very hard at curbing tribal and national hatreds. We’ve seen that in recent years in Ireland, in the former Yugoslavia, in Africa and most especially today in the Middle East.
Uncontrolled anger can destroy our relationships, but unresolved anger can also destroy us.
Hatred and vindictiveness bear a lot in common with exploding rifle bullets. They are likely to prove just as deadly to the person carrying them as they were supposed to be for their intended victim. So St. Paul writes,
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you . . ."Then St. Paul adds,
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."What does he mean
, "Be imitators of God . . . "? Just this. All the anger and hatred of humanity were focused that day long ago when the innocent Son of God hung on Calvary’s tree. What was God’s response--to wipe us off the globe? God could have done so, and been totally justified. Instead God played the adult to humanity’s petulant child. God took that awful event and used it to save us from our sins. We hated, God loved. We struck out in blind fury: God responded with unconditional acceptance. We shut him out; God brought us in. If you want to imitate God, that is how it is done.We will never solve the problem of international terrorism with our bombs. We will never shout our way to nurturing family relationships within our homes. We will never have peace in our own hearts until we understand the power of strategic kindness—kindness that turns enemies into friends. How does that happen? Jesus, of course, said it best: "If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24)
My guess is that right here in this church family there is some reconciling that needs to be done. For someone, it is a brother or a sister. For someone else, it is a parent or a teenager. For someone, it is a colleague at work or a fellow church member. Unresolved anger and resentment destroy relationships. Unresolved anger and resentment can destroy our souls. The solution? "Be imitators of God . . ." Lay down your anger. Return love for hatred, kindness for hostility, acceptance for rejection. Be the adult to someone else’s child. Break the cycle. "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you . . ."
Grace and peace